My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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