id be glad to
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
