Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This house was built for laser tag.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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