they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
