her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
