there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
