My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just google imaged poop.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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