Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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