Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
