you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize