drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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