I swear she didn't look like that last week.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We got so high we made milksteak
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
