fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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