I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
