He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
