im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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