That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize