broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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