Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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