how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
