did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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