I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
