I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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