I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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