Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize