I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
