you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I want to stick my p in your. b.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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