just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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