so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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