YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
