Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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