Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
