to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize