I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
