Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
