Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize