I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
