At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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