Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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