so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
