Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize