It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
