Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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