i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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