Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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