How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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