I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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