So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
