I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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