i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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