Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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