I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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