It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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