I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
