Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
