if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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