im drinking this country out of the recession.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
