scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
