I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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