my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
