Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
